Because adulting did not come with a manual, just vibes and bills.
They say twenties are for finding yourself. Personally, I think twenties are for unlearning everything you were told growing up, the outdated beliefs, while trying to keep your skin clear, your emotions in check, and your Wi-Fi stable.
They told us our twenties would be the best time of our lives. What they forgot to mention was that they’d also be the most confusing, exhausting, transformative,and emotionally chaotic years too.
Right now, I am learning to unlearn. Yes, unlearn. Because so much of adulthood is peeling off what society, culture, school, and even family taught you and replacing it with what you believe, what you want, what you choose.
So here is an honest, slightly chaotic but beautifully human look at the things I am currently unlearning in my twenties – and maybe you are too.
Success Has a Set Timeline (It Doesn’t)
When I was 18, I had a life blueprint. Reality check: Most of the things I had planned for have not yet happened. And guess what? The world did not implode. Nobody is following me around with a checklist and a red pen.
Success does not come wrapped in a calendar. Your path might twist, pause, detour – and that does not make you a failure. I have learned to let go of the pressure to “arrive.” I am learning to measure success by peace, alignment, and joy- not just by paychecks and polished LinkedIn bios.
Rest is Not Laziness – It is Sacred
Growing up, I believed rest was a reward for being productive. Now I know rest is part of the process. There is no trophy for being burnt out and emotionally fried. Rest is a necessity, not a luxury.
Sometimes it looks like reading a spicy romance novel (currently Kingdom by W.S. Greer, thank you very much), sometimes it is just laying in bed doing nothing – guilt-free. Apps like Insight Timer for meditation or Notion to track my energy levels help me stay balanced, not just busy.
Not Everyone Deserves a Lifetime Seat in Your Life
Friendships evolve. People grow apart. Some friendships die quietly, others fade loudly. It used to crush me. But now I see it for what it is – growth.
Your inner circle should feel like a soft place to land, not a place where you walk on eggshells. Protect your peace. You do not owe anyone access to you if their presence feels heavy.
It Is Okay To Not Have Everything Figured Out
Spoiler alert: Most of us are winging it.
Even that girl on IG with the aesthetic life and a Pinterest-perfect desk setup? She is figuring it out too. Your twenties are less about certainty and more about courage, trying, failing, learning, and still showing up.
You do not need a five-year plan. You just need to take the next honest step.
Being Busy is Not a Personality Trait
Hustle culture lied. It made me think that unless I was booked and busy, I was not doing enough. I used to glorify busyness. Now I crave ease.
Don’t get me wrong. I still have goals – big ones. But I am learning to build them sustainably. I break them to manageable bits, because hey, I’d rather break them down than have a breakdown. I schedule rest like I schedule meetings. Burnout is not a badge of honor please.
It is Okay to Be Vulnerable
For years, I wore “strong girl” like armor. I did not ask for help. I held in tears. I performed “I’m fine” like an Oscar-worthy role.
But strength does not mean suffering in silence. Being vulnerable with friends, family, even yourself is strength in its rawest form. Now when I need help, I ask. When I am tired, I say so. And when I am not okay, I stop pretending I am.
Softness too is not a weakness. It is strength with grace. It is choosing kindness in a world that constantly demands hardness. Now I embrace softness. I cry without apology, I extend compassion to others, but especially to myself.
Final Thoughts
Unlearning is uncomfortable. It is peeling away layers you wore for years. It is doubting your own thoughts. But it is also freeing. Empowering. Necessary.
If you are in your twenties, questioning everything, feeling lost, or redefining yourself, I see you. You’re not failing. You’re becoming.
So here’s to the unlearning. To growth that is not linear. To learning to give yourself permission to start over – again and again.
You are allowed to change and choose differently. And you are allowed to not know, and still be worthy of love, rest, and celebration.
One unlearning at a time, we are making our twenties count.
Love you loads!!!